Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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