She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
