Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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