next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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