Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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