Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize