The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
