Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
