She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
