she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
