Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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