So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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