I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
