You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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