around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
