you guys were way drunker than both of me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
