He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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