Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
