I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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