Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
