Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize