Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
