Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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