i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
