Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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