All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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