First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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