im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
