good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
