Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
