Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
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You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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