i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
