he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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