U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
