I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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