why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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