My cat gives me a boner
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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