Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
