Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is wine microwaveable?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
