Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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