Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
