i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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