But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
