i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
