he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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