this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
