i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
