If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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