i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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