I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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