So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM VODKA MAN
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize