Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
