Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
