before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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