If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
