the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
